I’m sitting in a ski lodge. It’s a bit chilly and my ego is a bit bruised. How hard can it be to stand on two hard pieces of plastic and slide downhill in snow? Harder than one might think, as it turns out. 

I’m a tad old for a first-time skier, which probably doesn’t help my learning curve. When I was a kid, my family couldn’t afford sports lessons and gear and travel. I grew up “ice skating” in my snow boots on frozen ponds and making snow angels in my grandparents’ back yard. 

So today I’m learning something new. It seems like a fitting way to start 2024. I don’t often make New Year’s resolutions, but this year, I’ve decided to be more intentional about embracing life and trying new experiences. 

Stretching yourself and stepping outside that comfort zone can feel like someone sprinkled a healthy dose of anxiety all over your breakfast cereal. On the other hand, it can be good for your mental health. How? Well, let’s think about it.

Empowerment. Think of a time you’ve been anxious about doing something. Maybe it’s skiing, or maybe it’s giving a presentation or starting a new school. Whatever the situation, remember how strong you felt when it was over? Not necessarily because you were even particularly successful, but because you were scared, and you did it anyway. The next time you faced something equally stressful, you could site that time you nervously did the scary thing and lived to see another day. That’s empowering. You weren’t sure if you could, but you tried and you are still here to tell the tale. New experiences can push us into discovering how strong we can be and how proud we should be of ourselves for stretching those mental muscles. 

Community. Shout out to the person in the purple parka who helped me get on my feet when I ever-so-gracefully tried to ski while lying down. Also, the parking attendant who helped me figure out where precisely one gets on the ski lift. And the very kind person on the snow board who helped me find my gloves when I dropped them halfway down the steepest bunny hill I’ve ever seen in my entire life. There’s a humility and a vulnerability that comes with trying something new, and often, in those moments, the humans around you will make small differences in your life. Purple parka, parking attendant, and snowboarder may not remember me after today, but I will remember their kindness and humanity. When we are out of familiar waters, we sometimes need the support of others to get through it. Now, the next time I’m in a similar situation, I’ll remember that sense of connection and be a little less afraid to ask for help.

Resilience. Resilience can be defined as bouncing back or withstanding difficulties. If this is something with which you struggle, don’t let shame take over. Often, our resilience muscle is affected by our past experiences, genetics, and learned behaviors. Resilience can be hard to learn and tricky to practice. Each time you stretch yourself outside your comfort zone just a little bit, you work that resilience muscle and make it a little stronger. Like any muscle that gets stronger with exercise, your resilience muscle will grow as you use it. Here’s how resilience works for me on the ski slopes. I fall and, instead of thinking negatively of myself or being too afraid to try again, I (1) acknowledge that I feel embarrassment and a little bit of physical pain, (2) remind myself that everyone messes up, and (3) praise myself for being brave as I get up and try again. These steps don’t just apply to skiing. When I lose my temper with a loved one, forget an important meeting, or recognize some internalized bias in myself, I acknowledge how I feel, recognize that it is human to make mistakes, and try again while honoring my own resilience. Failing is human and leads to growth. The problem isn’t failing; it’s letting a chapter of your story end at that failure.

            I hope you find new adventures in the new year. I hope you try something you’ve been putting off because you were afraid to fail. It may be a sport or hobby, applying for that job you’ve been eyeing, or connecting with that someone you’d like to talk to. Whatever it is, I hope it goes well for you. If it doesn’t, that’s OK, too. Bounce back because you are more than your mistakes. You have so many more adventures ahead!