Reframing is a technique that can be used to view a situation, relationship, or thoughts with a different or new perspective.  From time to time we may have a negative view of a situation and it keeps us focused on only that lens.  Reframing would be to look at the situation from another perspective.  For example, a teen hears their parents asking ‘where are you going, who will be with you, when will you be home?’  The young person may perceive this as my parents don’t trust me or maybe they don’t believe me.  In reframing the thought, ask the teen to try to perceive the situation as the parent.  Is the parent gathering information so they can feel that you will be safe?  Maybe the parent is ensuring that their child is considering all of the safety issues when making plans so that they can make safe choices.  Another example might be in a relationship.  One partner might hear the other asking questions regarding their feelings toward them.  Initially they may feel these questions are ‘needy’ or ‘clingy’.  Reframe the inquiry as a request for communication or verbalization of thoughts and feelings as opposed to having to guess or wonder.  This positive lens can open communication and provide a more positive outlook in sharing.

The tendency to have negative thoughts or beliefs is referred to as negative distortions.  These can happen in several ways.  Catastrophizing is going straight to the worst case scenario.  ‘Should’ statements are always jumping to what you ‘should’ do in a situation and therefore believe you have failed expectations.  Discounting positives and ignoring all of the good things that happen in your life, is focusing on the negative events only. 

When you are feeling stressed, recognize what is not in your control and focus on what is and what you can do to improve that situation.  If you are feeling sad about a situation, consider what is going right.  Become aware of your thoughts.  Recognize them.  Ask yourself questions:  Is there another way to look at this situation?  Are there positive outcomes or learning from this situation?  Jotting down the thoughts and writing a reframed version can be very helpful.  Meditation and mindfulness practices can also provide a calming element to think with a new perspective.

Resources

https://www.verywellmind.com/reframing-defined-2610419

https://sdlab.fas.harvard.edu/cognitive-reappraisal/positive-reframing-and-examining-evidence