We Have to Start Somewhere
Usually, I am meticulous about my blog posts. I’ll read, re-read, edit, give myself a pep talk, and eventually, hesitantly, submit something. Today is different because this is my love letter to my LGBTQ+ community and our allies. So, bear with me, because the syntax may not flow and the paragraphs may not connect seamlessly. This is just me. Talking to us all.
To the Transgender Community, including everyone who stands under the trans umbrella
First and foremost, I want to acknowledge Trans Day of Visibility. Today is a day of remembrance for what has come before and a day of promise that you have allies who love you and see you for exactly who you are. By that, I mean your transness is non-negotiable, beautiful, and worthy of joy. I also mean that I see you as more than your gender identity. While it is a piece of you, it is not the sum of you. I see your bravery and authenticity. I also see that you are a gamer, a runner, a math whiz, an empath, a writer, an advocate, a procrastinator, a reluctant public speaker, and a million other things that make each person unique and human. So, I hope today shows that you are loved and supported for exactly who you are while also holding that you are a whole person.
I want to acknowledge the importance of centering voices of transgender people today, so I asked a very wise person I know, who also happens to be trans, about her perspective today. Here is what she said:
“Being trans can mean wildly different things to different people, making it hard to define. It can be described as a beautiful form of self-expression, a way to show our true selves, and a form of rebellion, refusing to hide for the convenience of others. Some trans people describe their journey as a rebirth, an opportunity to be themselves, separated from person they were told to be. Others like the imagery of "growing into themselves," expressing who they were always meant to be.
Behind every single experience, no matter how a person may describe their transness, is an entire person who is more than “a trans person." In a world full of terrifying action and hateful words, it is important to remember that trans people are not a number on a spreadsheet or a statistic in a census. Like everyone else, trans individuals are people first and foremost.
When thinking about the hardships faced by our community and fighting for our rights and safety, it’s important to recognize the individuals, too. Siblings, partners, friends, classmates, coworkers, and maybe even that stranger sitting one table away in a restaurant. Trans people are not some abstract concept or distant group of people in a far-off land, but rather human beings with loves and struggles just like everyone else. Trans people are here, we always have been here, and we will continue to be here.”
To the LGBTQ+ Community, especially those in difficult situations right now
You are enough. Science stands by the fact that genetic factors impact each of us and help make us who we are. There is no reason to change what is already good.
To Anyone Looking for a Therapist Right Now
Please don’t give up! Check out the counselor’s national credentials like Nationally Certified Counselor, membership with ethical organizations like the American Counseling Association, and state licensure in good standing. If those pieces are in place, the counselor is bound by ethical standards that do not allow for discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender. If you are a minor who cannot request affirming counseling, I’ll provide the Trevor Project hotline information at the bottom of this page.
There are steps you can take as you are looking for the right counselor. Check out their website or other online presence, where you should see indications of their areas of practice as well as their approach to counseling. If someone looks like a good fit, don’t be afraid to ask questions that help you feel more comfortable. We don’t mind talking through your concerns!
To Anyone Struggling with the Weight of the World Right Now
Things get heavy and I will not invalidate your fears and experiences. I try to hold that heaviness simultaneously with joy. To take back my own power and not allow the heaviness to suck me into a mire of muck, I choose joy. Happiness comes and goes and adversity will always exist. Whatever else it means to be human, I think that may be one of the biggest lessons. I heard my wife tell a coworker, “We have to start somewhere.” Now she was talking about tech stuff or something, but the point is that her statement stood out to me. We do all have to start somewhere to move forward in our personal journeys. Today, to start my journey, I choose joy by focusing on the strength, power, bravery, authenticity, kindness, love, and creativity in our queer community. That’s what’s visible to me today. The joy.
Trevor Project
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