Why Group?

I was inspired to write this blog out of gratitude to Mandy for taking over my group and giving me space to do other things on my Thursday evenings. Yet, I miss the group and wanted to explore and write about that here.

I started working at Brawner Psychiatric Hospital in 1987. I had the privilege to work with an amazing team and to co-lead the Eating Disorder Support Group at the Hospital. I learned so much from that group. As I moved from one job to another, many members of the group stayed with me. We met for over two decades.

When I moved to North Carolina in 2012, it just felt natural to start up a Free Community Group here. With COVID, we have continued to meet weekly virtually. I think we have all been grateful to have the support and connection while many people in the group have been very isolated.

People frequently ask me what the benefits are from an open community support group. The biggest benefit is connection to a community of other people who have similar struggles. Eating Disorders thrive in isolation. One way to take away their hold is to shine the light on them and to be open to others about the battle. Frequently, people working on Eating Disorder recovery do not have strong support systems or people they can talk honestly to about their experience of recovery.

Another benefit is education. People who attend group can ask questions and educate themselves about what to expect from recovery. They can learn how other people cope with the strong emotions that come up when they decrease their Eating Disorder behaviors.

The group also shares resources. People can help each other find a therapist, dietitian, psychiatrist or treatment program. People also share books, podcasts and websites that are helpful.

Finally, the group can give each other accountability. Over the years, I’ve heard many people share that they met a treatment goal after promising the group they would do it. They struggled to do it for themselves, but were able to do it “for the group.”

With all of these benefits, you may ask why more people don’t take advantage of free support groups. There are some valid concerns to consider when deciding whether to join a group.

The first concern is one I hear people talk about a lot. People who join the group sometimes feel “triggered” by other people. They may feel uncomfortable with the other people’s bodies or they may feel uncomfortable with information other people share. Most groups have rules put in place to try to help with this some. For example: I discourage people from taking in detail about specific behaviors or numbers around weight/size. It is more helpful in the group to focus more on identifying healthy coping skills. For example: I
Someone might say that they had a stressful week and didn’t know how to deal with their emotions. So, they used negative behaviors. That is enough information for the group to be able to give good feedback and to be helpful. Going into details about what these behaviors were doesn’t really serve any purpose. It could potentially just trigger someone or even give them an idea for a new negative behavior to try that they hadn’t known about before.

There are times when people need feedback around specifics. For example: They may have just started a new job where they don’t get breaks to eat. So, the Eating Disorder is telling them that they can just skip their meals/snacks when they are at work. Yet, they know this isn’t right. So, They may ask the group for suggestions on how to advocate with their job to make sure they get to eat.

Part of the leaders role in group is to watch out for topics that could be potentially triggering and to step in to redirect if needed. Yet, the leader can’t always know what is triggering to everyone. So, each member of the group is encouraged to speak up when something is too hard for them. For example: I once had someone in group who just couldn’t bear for us to talk about body image. So, we tried to avoid that topic when she was in group. Yet, other people really find talking about body image helpful.

Another thing to consider when joining a group is the age of other group members. My group is open to teens and adults. Yet, the large majority of people who attend are adults. Therefore, our topics tend to be more relevant for adults.

Since the group is open to the community, people who join are not always ready for recovery. They may be in the contemplation stage of change where they are considering recovery and just want to learn about other people’s experience. I’ve seen people join the group in this stage who have then connected to the group and turned their life around. Yet, it can be hard on the group to watch someone making poor choices and use self destructive behaviors.

When considering a group, another factor to consider is who facilitates the group. Some groups have peer leaders and other groups have professional leaders. Either way, the leader’s primary role is to provide a safe place for people to come to for support. Most groups have written rules to consider. So, review the rules and ask questions if you are unclear on something.

I’ve always been impressed by how strong the chemistry can be within a group when the right people come together. While the group will shift and change with time, that chemistry will keep returning as the group settles in to do their work.

There are numerous organizations that provide free Eating Disorder support groups. Here are a few resources:

https://anad.org/

https://crcfored.com/

https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/

https://eatingdisorderfoundation.org/get-help/support-groups/

For more information on joining our group, contact Mandy Anglemyer at mandyanglemyer@stargazercounseling.com. The group is currently meeting via Zoom.